October

I've given up trying to post regularly this fall. I'm just too busy -- and even when I get a little break, I feel guilty about taking the time to blog. But today, Sunday, I'm so frantic with anxiety about all the things I need to do that I thought it might calm me down to write a post. And indeed, after only a couple sentences, I do feel better.

What am I frantic about? Will it make me more or less stressed to write it all down? I think less, so I will do it.

School/work, of course: I'm mostly prepared for Monday, but I have a small pile of grading to do, probably 90 minutes worth, plus I promised the students I would update the gradebook. Need some quiet time to do that. On Monday a whole new stack of 55 assignments will be turned in, so that will take up Tuesday and Thursday, plus I need to plan Wednesday and Friday's classes sometime. I don't have enough time to do my job. That's the bottom line, and it's a problem.

Kids' school: Since I am the class rep for Kid A's class, I am in charge of organizing the Halloween party. I need to set up a google doc with stuff for people to sign up for, and then send everyone on my list an email about it. I've never set up a google doc, so that will be a learning curve. The email list is another problem -- so far only a little over half the parents have agreed to be on it. I need to sit down and contact all the people whose email addresses I know, but who haven't said I could include them, and ask them WHY NOT? This is stressful for me to even think about. Then, once I'm ready to send out the email, I need to translate it into Spanish (or ask our translator to do it, which will take a few more days, and I should have sent the email out last week). Also on this list (and also stressful) is the need to help Kid A with his reading every day -- which he hates, and which I have to fight with him to do at all. I don't think learning to read should involve fighting, but his teacher is unhappy with me because I don't do more with him.

Halloween in general: I told the boos we could decorate this weekend, but I think they've forgotten, which is good. Next weekend. Their costumes are ordered and due to arrive Tuesday (long long gone are the days of making costumes -- there's no time). I have a stack of Halloween cards to write -- and I really want to write them, because that's important to me -- but I'm starting to think I may not manage it. Yesterday I took Kid A to one of those pop-up Halloween stores to look for a missing piece of his costume. We didn't find it, but he was overwhelmed by all the gruesome animatronic figures in the store. Now he wants to go back and bring Kid B. I don't want to go back. But I do need to take Kid B to the toy store to buy a gift for a friend's birthday party next Saturday (I took Kid A yesterday). That will be stressful because he'll want things for himself. I also, believe it or not, get stressed out if I do not spend time reading ghost stories during October, because that's been one of my "rules" for decades. Over the last few days I buckled down and read Too Many Ghosts, a very silly ghost story novel by Paul Gallico that I had on my shelf. I am hoping that will be enough, other than the occasional short story by M. R. James. Surely I can let myself off the hook on that score. I promise to read a lot of ghost stories when I'm in my seventies. There, done.

Miscellaneous: Laundry, dishes, cleaning. Yesterday Rocket Boy and Kid B went to the cabin, while Kid A and I stayed home. I couldn't get any schoolwork done, of course, but Kid A let me do housework -- and even helped, which was wonderful. We unloaded the dishwasher together, and then reloaded and ran it. I did the cat box and a load of laundry on my own, but he happily went grocery shopping with me, and later we spent some time cleaning his room. But today, with Kid B back in the mix, I know I won't get any help. Must go and put the first load of laundry in the dryer.

Things on list that never get done: haircuts for the boys (the barber shop is closed on Sundays, so can't worry too much about that one today), putting the garden to bed, taking my coats to the dry cleaner before winter hits, ordering new winter coats for the boys, cleaning my room, writing a letter to the editor about the election, reading a long list of books on how to help modify my kids' behavior and then implementing them, restarting the token system to help with their behavior, setting up complicated playdates with friends whose parents I don't know, including some who only speak Spanish, putting class photos in frames, downloading the manual for my new smartphone and learning how to use it, learning Windows 10 so I can use the new laptop we bought me that I hate and won't use because it has Windows 10 on it, getting my bike registered with the city and the university, switching my WW membership to the online version since I haven't made it to a meeting in over a year even though I keep paying for it every month...

I know I'm forgetting things. Not sure if writing this all down helped or not. What should I do first?