We will probably not do much of anything to celebrate, as we never do. Kid A will have summer school that day, so I'll be up by 7 am. If I want a cake, I'll probably have to procure it myself -- I could ask Rocket Boy to buy one, but to get what I want, I should choose -- or make -- my own. This is all fine. I will be nice to myself all day and I will probably have a happy day.
I usually have a hard time coming up with ideas for presents for myself (I have to give Rocket Boy an idea, it's cruel to make him figure it out himself). But this year for some reason I have all sorts of ideas. In fact, I've had a running list in my head for several months now, and the other day I wrote it down. And then tonight I tried googling "birthday gifts for women in their 50s" or something like that, just to see what other people thought were appropriate gifts for women my age. Oh, the suggestions are horrible! Pedometers and food diaries, animal print luggage -- my god, what is wrong with people my age? Do any of us really want things like that?
I certainly don't, but I do want certain other things. Here are some of the items on my birthday list:
First, toys. I want the Playmobil cafe set. My thought is that the little Playmobil people that I got (for myself) for Christmas don't have anything to do during the day. They don't have jobs (the adults, that is). If I had a little cafe, some of them could work in it. It's not made anymore, but you can still get it. It looks like this:
So cute! And then I need a store building for it to go in, so I want this:
I do not have anywhere to put this little store, but that is no matter. I still want it.
In addition to Playmobil, I want my own Lego set, but not like the sets the kids have. I want one of the architecture sets, the one of the Burj Khalifa. The Burj Khalifa is that terrifying building in Dubai that is an ungodly height and people live in it. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about it -- therefore I want to own and build a model of it. Makes perfect sense. I saw this set at Barnes & Noble several months ago and told Kid A (who was with me) that I wanted it for my birthday. Maybe he'll remember.
I also want a Ouija board, despite the fact (?) that it may unleash evil spirits into my life. I figure my life is stressful enough -- maybe some evil spirits would be a change.Here's a sample set. Available, apparently, at Target!
I would also like some puzzle books. I enjoy the puzzle books I buy in the grocery store, but I've been hankering for some of the books you can buy that have ONLY the puzzles you like best. I have some Logic Problem books, which are my top favorites, but I would also like some Places, Please books
and a Logic Art book. Logic Art is something I just discovered recently and it's really fun. Fun, that is, if you like staring at a lot of tiny squares, counting them, calculating, counting some more, and then finally filling some in, or putting dots in them. Hard to explain, or justify, but I think they're fun.
I always want various books, but two that I am particularly interested in concern Penelope Fitzgerald, one of my favorite authors. I want her collected letters, which are supposed to be fascinating,
and the biography of her by Hermione Lee, which is supposed to be very good. One might imagine that part of Fitzgerald's appeal to someone like me is that she published her first novel when she was in her 50s and went on to write many more, including one of the most wonderful books in the world, The Blue Flower. Gives me hope, in other words. But really, I don't think it's that. I appreciate her for herself, not for what she might represent to me, or whatever. Also, I love biographies. 
Then there's music. This is going to sound really weird, but I want some CDs by the old group America. I cannot explain why I've gotten interested in them -- it would be about as easy to explain as why I want a Playmobil cafe. Just let it go. I want their first Greatest Hits CD (or even an actual record, since it was a record first)
and their most recent CD. Yes, the band still exists and they are still putting out the occasional CD.
I would also like the Kate Bush CD about snow, which for some reason I never acquired.
I was listening to her CD before that, the one with all the birds on it, and suddenly realized I didn't have this one.
I'm less interested in beautifying myself these days, more interested in the life of my mind, but I'd really love a new hat, one that doesn't make me look stupid. I used to have a lovely, feminine straw hat, wore it for years until it finally disintegrated. I'd like another. Something like this beauty, which actually comes in size colossal (mine):
I could go on -- yes, I really could! -- but this gives the general sense of it all. I don't know why there are so many little things that I want (and no animal print luggage). Is it because I'm being frugal and not buying things for myself these days? I really am trying hard to deny myself. I keep thinking, oh, I have so much stuff, it's OK to just want that (whatever it is, such as a Playmobil cafe) but not actually get it. And you know, there isn't anything on this list that I can't live without. I can get the Penelope Fitzgerald books from the library. I can go on wearing my stupid-looking hat.
But I think I will show Rocket Boy this list, and he can show it to the twins. What do you think they'll get me?
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