My four additional resolutions for 2016 are as follows:
1. Get my hearing tested, get a hearing aid if necessary. I think it's probably necessary -- I've been having trouble with my hearing for at least ten years. I often can't hear what my students say to me in class. I think Rocket Boy needs a hearing aid too, so maybe if I got one, he'd consider getting one.
2. Get new glasses. I don't think the prescription's changed a LOT, but it would definitely cheer me up to have a more attractive set of frames. I got these in Ridgecrest and there wasn't much to choose from.3. Get the piano tuned. I don't like playing RB's mom's old upright that much, but a piano is a piano and this is ours. It's horribly out of tune, and if it were in tune, we could get some enjoyment out of it.
4. OK, this is the hard one. I want to take more responsibility for my life, and for things that happen, not blame everything on someone else (twins, Rocket Boy, whoever's convenient). I always used to hate people who blamed other people for their problems -- and then I became one of those people. I trace it back to the move to Ridgecrest, when I just couldn't accept the fact that I'd gotten myself into that situation. It simply had to be someone else's fault, and therefore it was. Things got worse again when we moved back to Boulder and had problem after problem, no money, the flood, bad or no jobs, issues with the twins. I still struggle with this a lot. I think to myself: it's simply not possible that I could work this hard (as measured by me being tired all the time) and our lives are still so horrible. Ergo, it's someone or something else's fault.
But it isn't. It's just stuff that happens, and I don't always make the best decisions regarding how to deal with it. Plus, blaming it on someone else makes me unlikely to even try to fix it. So I hereby resolve not to blame stuff on other people, but rather take responsibility and try to think of ways to fix it. Wish me luck.
I guess now might be as good a time as any to mention the bad thing that has recently happened to us: Rocket Boy's job is ending. When they hired him last July/August, they put him on a six-month probationary period, and that period is coming to an end next week. They have chosen not to keep him on. I stupidly made the decision to teach only two classes this term, so starting in February we will be living on $9000 divided among 5 months (minus taxes and health insurance). I'm guessing my paycheck will be around $1000 a month. Our mortgage is $500/month. Living on this is going to be very tricky. And then will come the summer, with zero income but all the same bills.
Choosing to teach only two classes was my bad (lazy) decision, and Rocket Boy losing his job is just a random bad thing. I honestly don't think he is to blame. He's been working very hard, enjoying his work, creating interesting stuff that the company didn't have before. So it's just something that happened, and on we go. As always, we are in better shape financially than most people -- and this is lighting a fire under us to get Clifford's house rented, so we'll have more income.
It's going to be a challenging winter/spring -- and I think I'll have to put off the hearing aid and glasses resolutions for the foreseeable future, at least until the property taxes are all paid and we get a renter -- but it will be better if I am not complaining and blaming other people all the time. So yeah, wish me luck, wish me the strength to work on this. I will definitely need it.
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